Saturday

Dear Mom,

We're busy planning out your burial which is schedule for this Saturday. Uncle Mel and them can't make it..I feel guilty. I feel as though I should reschedule it for a date when everyone can be there, but taht's probably not possible. So, we will keep it for Saturday.

I keep thinking of what you would want in the ern with your ashes....a paintbrush, a letter, a picture...but nothing seems good enough. I want to put myself in there with you!!! I miss you soo much, it hurts so much!! Things are supposed to get easier but it doesn't! All I want to do is yell, scream and cry!!! You always knew how to make me feel better, where are you while I'm going through this nightmare...The thing I always told you would be the one thing to kill me!!! I am to young to have no mom......

I don't mean to make you feel guilty, it is not your fault. I just miss you so much!!! Why didn't I dream this event, I alwayd dream them!!

For now I'll go to bed, as my day begins at 530 am to drive Kyle to work everyday......

I love you mommy! And if you have anyway of telling me, please tell me what you want for Saturday...

love me